Karkat Sings
by MissKoolKat 21
Summary: So, you give me a song, Karkat sings it for you.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey enjoy this really short random fanfiction that I wrote. I was watching TV and a KFC ad came on where they were playing this song and I thought, HOLY CRAP IMAGINE IF KARKAT SANG THAT! and so I wrote this short fanfiction. Don't even ask.

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Homestuck, it belongs to Andrew Hussie and I did not write this song.**

"Hey Karkat," Dave swaggered over.

The cancer turned around and glared at Dave with a, "What do you want now Dave? Can you quit being such a fucktard?"

"Erm no, you have something to do. This, MissKoolKat 21 person on the internet would like you to sing a song for her. I even got the fucken lyrics up for you."  
"Pass the fucking lyrics to me Dave." Dave handed over his phone with the lyrics.

"Now you need to sing this in your best singing voice, or according to MissKoolKat 21, she will chop off your bone bulge with a miniature hacksaw. Do it."

"FINE." Karkat sighed.

 _There's a hole in my bucke-_

"Wait. WHICH FUCKING FUCKTARD WROTE THIS FUCKING SONG?"

"Just sing it."

"NO! THIS IS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND TERRIFYING! DO YOU EVEN REALISE HOW FUCKING SCARY BUCKETS ARE FOR US?"

"Sing it – you heard the woman."  
"FINE."

 _(Singing continues)_

 _But there's a hole in my bucke-_

"K4RK4T? AR3 YOU 1N N33D OF 4 BUCK3T FOR YOU 4ND D4VE TO PUT YOUR S4D L1TTL3 D1NGL3S OV3R? 1 H34RD YOU S4YING SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT A HOL3 IN TH3 BUCK3T. B3C4US3 1F TH4T 1S TH3 C4SE3, W3 N33D TO 1NVEST1GATE!" Terezi burst in.

"NO TEREZI, IT'S A FUCKING SONG WRITTEN BY SOME RANDOM FUCKTARD AND THEN THIS STUPID FUCKASS ON THE INTERNET MADE ME SING IT!" Karkat feinted.

"D4V1D 3L1Z4B3TH STR1D3R, YOU 4R3 UND3R 4RR3ST FOR THE F31NT1NG OF K4RK4T V4NT4S!"

"Oh shit."

A/N: Did you like it? I want to continue this, so please review! Also, please leave songs that Karkat can sing next! He will have so much fun! Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey! Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it :3 Now because Christmas is around the corner, it seems appropriate to do a Christmas special edition of this. There are so many silly Christmas songs out there but this one stood out for a fanfiction. Also, at the suggestion of Jade Harley, I will have Karkat sing Havana by Camila Cabello in the next chapter. And if you are wondering about Elrond's Crazy Mythical Adventures, I have got really bad writer's block which is not fun. Anyways, enjoy!

 **D1SCL41M3R: I don't own Homestuck. I don't own the song either. I don't own anything except for - wait. I don't own anything.**

Christmas. Karkat's least favourite holiday. It meant having to go outside to get things for other people and getting things that you don't even want in return from other people who you don't like to begin with. And trees. EVERYWHERE. With their stupid red ornaments (that Terezi never stopped licking) and flashing lights blinking non stop. Gamzee would always want Karkat to taste his recuperacoon slime gingerbread and peppermint flavoured Faygo. But the worst part of it all was the ANNOYING CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Hell to the no. _Jingle bells go to hell,_ that would sound a million times better, but no. Apparently, according to Kankri, (Karkat's stupid dancestor), that's n9t very nice and c9uld 6e religi9usly 9ffensive and p9tentially triggering t9 multiple gr9ups 9f people. But Kankri is the biggest most insufferable asshole to ever exist, so who cares. But Kanaya said that Karkat needed to be more friendly and try to get more into the spirit of the green and red holiday. So Kanaya decided to buy Karkat a Christmas tree to put up in his hive. So she dropped of the tree to Karkat's hive with a little note attached. A few hours later, Karkat went outside to discover the tree sitting out the front of his hive. Great. What am I supposed to do with this? Burn it? Give it to Vriska as revenge for that time she gave him a doomsday machine? Or Terezi for giving him a full red glitter bomb? Or should he give this Christmas thing a try? If everyone else could do it, surely he could.

He dragged it in and tried to stand it up. "NO NO NO DON'T FUCKING FALL! FUCK!" Great. He would need to go and find something to stand it up. Fuck it. Karkat went and grabbed his Sicklekind and whacked a hole in the floor. That'll shoved the tree in there. Then out of nowhere, Karkat began singing. Literally singing, not incomprehensible yelling (which is heard quite often).

 _"I'm gonna put some glue 'round the Christmas tree, so Santa Claus, will stick around all year. I'll spread it on the floor, the windows and the door. I'll catch him like a fly, and I'll have him for Easter and the Fourth of July."_ Karkat was feeling strange. What was this joy and happy thing inside of him? He didn't even know what the Fourth of July was. _"And everyday, will be Christmas day, with choo choo trains, and rocket ships to steer, I'll make it all, come true, with just a little glue, and Santa Claus, will stick around, all year! I'm gonna put some glue 'round the Christmas tree, so Santa Claus, will stick around all year. I'll spread it on the floor, the windows and the door. I'll catch him like a fly, and I'll have him for Easter and the Fourth of July. "And everyday, will be Christmas day, with choo choo trains, and rocket ships to steer, I'll make it all, come true, with just a little glue, and Santa Claus, will stick around, all year!"_

Karkat hadn't realised how loudly he was singing and, had a little unexpected guest sitting in his fireplace. "TEREZI! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU WEARI- IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BEARD?!"

"W3LL K4RK4T, YOU S33 (1 DON'T, H3 H3 H3) 1 SM3LT YOUR 4WFULLY LOUD S1NG1NG, 4ND 1 TH1NK TH4T 1 SHOULD CONF1SC4T3 YOUR SH1TTY GLU3. YOU S33, 1T COULD B3 D4NG3ROUS TO M3, 1 R34LLY DON'T W4NT TO B3 STUCK 1N YOUR H1VE FOR 4LL 3T3RN1TY." She said, stepping out of the fireplace and dusting the ash of her Santa Claus costume and then shoved the cushions she had shoved under her shirt back up.

Karkat could not believe what was happening to him."TEREZI, YOU ARE NOT SANTA. FUCK OFF PLEASE, YOU SHIT EATING, INAPPROPRIATE LICKING, GRINNING FUCKTARD." He said this angrily with his biggest, meanest scowl to scare her off.

"OK4Y V4NT4S. JUST A QUEST1ON: C4N YOU H3LP M3 G3T B4CK UP ON TH3 ROOF SO 1 C4N FLY MY SC4L3M4T3 SL31GH B4CK TO MY H1V3?"

"OH SHIT."

A/N: Did you like it? If you do like it, please review it to show me your support! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is just a quick one, I was struggling for ideas on this song that was requested by Jade Harley, but here I go!

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own this song, nor do I own Homestuck. Just not mine, okay?**

 _"Havana, ooh na-na._ _Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na. He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na. All of my heart is in Havana. There's somethin' 'bout his manners. Havana, ooh na-na._ _He didn't walk up with that "how you doin'?"_ _He said there's a lot of girls I can do with, I'm doin' forever in a minute and papa says he got malo in him. He got me feelin' like Ooh-ooh-ooh, I knew it when I met him, I loved him when I left him, Got me feelin' like, ooh-ooh-ooh, and then I had to tell him I had to go, oh na-na-na-na-na!"_

"KARKAT! PLEASE STOP SINGING CAMILA FUCKING CABELLO SONGS ABOUT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!" Dave yelled out.

"OH SHITTY RETARDED FUCKTARDS."

A/N: I know this is only a short one, but I am focusing more on Elrond's Crazy Mythical Adventures at the moment and getting Chapter 3 out for that. Please review this, I love getting your feedback on this and a big shoutout goes to Supernova Gargantua for reviewing each chapter. Thank you, bye!


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